Beauty of Bespoke Traditions - Muslim weddings in India

Everything is grand in the Islamic way, and of course weddings too, although ritualistically simple they are still grand gaiety affairs.


Muslim weddings in India are generally known for their grandeur; a tradition that has come down from the Imedieval Moghul rulers and Sultans of India. Muslim weddings are events of a lifetime, attended by friends and relatives, brides adorning bright costumes, jewelry, and it's more renowned for a sumptuous feast. From Egypt to South Africa, Middle East and even in different parts of India, Muslim wedding traditions follow completely different customs, in spite of certain common core religious traditions. 

The Indian Muslims share the same pattern of ‘nikah' with that of the middle-east. Though the Muslim weddings are multiday celebrations, the core ceremony is very simple with few rituals and more flexible than any other religion. But many Muslim families are very conservative about their ethnicity.

Muslim weddings called nikah (Urdu word), do not need any muhurat (auspicious time) and can take place on any day of the year except the sacred months of Muharram and Ramadan. The month of Shawwal is the most preferred month and Sunday is the most favored day.

Unlike other religions, Muslim weddings needn't take place in a mosque. Traditionally either the bride's or the groom's house were nikah venues, but now people prefer to move to banquet halls for more lavishness and to tackle space constraints. Any Muslim who is well versed in Islamic tradition can officiate a wedding. However, many mosques have marriage officers, called qazi or maulavi, who would oversee marriages and confirm required civil documents.

 Pre-Wedding Extravaganzas 

The pre-wedding days witness many lively parties and ceremonies in strict Islam traditions. Many Indian Mughal and Nizami descendants follow a typical Pakistani tradition with a weeklong singing and dancing.


 Istikhara, Imam-Zamin and Magni 

Istikhara is the first ritual where the religious head offers prayers to God and takes his approval to conduct the wedding. After this, the groom's mother visits the bride's house with sweets and silver or gold coins wrapped in a silk cloth known as 'Imam- Zamin'. This is followed by Magni where the groom's family visits the bride's house with traditional delicacies, sweets and fruits. 

Dholki 

The wedding celebrations begin with the dholki (named after dholk, a drum), one to two weeks before the actual wedding ceremony. Both families traditionally hold their own dholki. Friends and family members gather to practice songs and dances for the upcoming mehendi ceremony, and sing and dance beating the dholk. The women closest to the bride or groom usually choreograph the dances, and it's mostly women who perform. This will be accompanied by elaborate dinner. 

Mehendi and Baraat 

Mehendi ceremony takes place on the eve of the wedding. It is the most festive event, filled with noise and colour. In some places the mehendi function is conducted separately, while in recent times many families prefer to go jointly. Though basically a bridal shower, when combined with the mehendi and baraat it becomes more colourful.

The bride, along with all the women gets henna designs on her hands and feet and for this, she will be escorted to the stage by six female relatives or friends who sing traditional songs and dance. Her head will be covered with dupatta or a long scarf. 

The groom arrives with his entourage of male guests, called the baraat with loud songs and dance. While entering the ceremony hall they are greeted by the bride's family and friends, standing in two parallel lines singing traditional songs and welcome them with drinks (sherbet). 


The Core Ceremony- Nikah 

The main wedding day is less eventful than the preceding days. The core function called Nikah is conducted by a Maulvi or Qasi or any senior family member. The priest reads certain verses from the holy Quran and thereafter a proposal and acceptance takes place. The bride and the groom will be in different rooms. They may or may not see each other, depending on how conservative the families are. The Qazi heads to each room and asks both the bride and the groom, their consent for the marriage. On the bride's behalf, a representative called a wali will answer. As the couple signs the marriage contract or license, the pair will be brought together by the priest and called as husband and wife.    

Usually the groom's side sends the proposal to the bride's side for consent. The consent is very important for legalizing the wedding. On the wedding day the groom's family is supposed to offer the bride's family with some Mehar (nuptial gift). Only close friends and family members will be present to witness the nikaah. 

The bride typically wears bright hued ghaagra with a heavily pleated skirt, or saree along with a blouse embellished in gold. Her head will be covered with a dupatta or a large scarf. Grooms either wear sherwani with turban or a Western style suit. Some wear a veil of roses on their head before the bride enters. 

For many Muslims, the Islamic ceremony is counted as the actual wedding, and not the confirmation of wedding in a register office.

 Post Nikah Ceremonies Dinner, Prayers and Aarsimashaf

The wedding ceremony is followed by a lavish dinner for which Muslims are famous for, and the newlyweds are allowed to sit together. The couple is then allowed to see each other through mirrors. 

The groom will be taken to the zenana (ladies' section) to receive blessings of the elder women. At the threshold, he gives money and gifts to the sister of the bride. As a game, sometimes the bride's friends or female relatives will steal the groom's shoes and he will have to give gifts or money as they demand, to get it back. 

Rukshat Ceremony: 

This is the farewell ceremony as the bride's father places his daughter's hand in the groom's hand and asks him to take care of her. A procession escorts the couple to the vehicle throwing flower petals on the couple. The bride is welcomed at the groom's mother house as the mother-in-law places a Quran on her head as she enters. 

Valima 

The groom's family hosts the valima, (feast), on the wedding night to welcome the bride. It signifies the consummation of the wedding, and is equivalent to a wedding reception. It also helps bridge gaps between both families. At some places valima occurs one or two days after the wedding.

 Kashmiri's have a slightly different tradition, with many elaborate pre wedding rituals, especially with many unique and rich Kashmiri delicacies like vazhavan (dinner with 30-35 dishes) and gift exchanges. For many states, Nikaah is an engagement and the girl continues to stay with her parents, and will be accompanied to the groom's house any time later with an elaborate valima.

 However, Muslim weddings vary a lot with many interesting aspects and moreover, with grand dinners that stands atop.


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