A Nair wedding ceremony probably the shortest in tradition gets over in jiffy; but a treat to watch, with its simple traditions and embedded rituals.
The Nairs of Kerala have a lineage of dignified martial nobility and have created a flutter in arenas like business and aristocracy. Their wedding ceremony is also distinct in its customs and rituals. Their wedding ceremony which is probably the shortest in tradition gets over in jiffy, but a treat to watch, with its simple traditions and embedded rituals. Let's unravel the mystical beauty of the affair.
Pre Wedding Rituals
Nischayam
Pennu Kanal
If horoscopes are matched, pennu kanal or meeting of the prospective bride and the groom happens mostly in the girl's house and can be a lower key affair. If both the boy and the girl liked each other and are willing to proceed with the marriage, the bride's family visit the groom's family in a function called veedu kanal.
Vivaha Nischayam or Jatakam Koda
Once both families are satisfied with the alliance, the marriage will be officially announced in the presence of elders and close friends, which is called 'vivaha nischayam' or betrothal. An astrologer is consulted prior to this, for an auspicious date and time for the wedding. Traditionally niscahayam will be held in the bride's house and the bride's maternal uncle is the main coordinator who announces the event. Nischayam can be a simple affair or a grand event according to the wish and convenience of both parties. In some areas, rings are exchanged during the function which is called 'mothiram mattal. In many places the Nair Service Society people from both sides will assemble at the bride's house and parents of both bride and groom will exchange letters regarding the time and venue of the marriage in their presence. Thereafter groom's sister will adorn jasmine flowers on girl's hair. A feast will be conducted thereafter.
Ayana or Dakshina
A function will be held separately at the bride's and groom's house on the wedding eve, where they take blessings of the elders. Close family members and friends will be invited for the function and a feast is arranged. The bride will be dressed in traditional saree, bejeweled and with mehendi in her hands. Though mehendi is not a traditional custom with Nair weddings, it is fast catching up as a new custom. In South Kerala, this function is accompanied by girls dancing in a circle around a lit brass oil lamp while old women clap in rhythm and twist fine cotton into a thousand wicks for the wedding day.
Namaskaram
On the Wedding Day, elders from the bride's side take the sacred thali (mangalsutra) to the temple, to get it blessed. After taking the blessings of the elders by touching their feet, the bride is taken to the wedding venue. Traditionally weddings were held in bride's house or in their ancestral home. But now it could be a temple, or any venue near to the bride's house.
Wedding Ceremony
Varavelpu
Both bride and groom with their parents and close relatives arrives to the venue separately. In the mandap, the bridegroom is received ceremoniously with the bride's brother washing his feet on a wooden plank and her aunt performing aarti. This ceremony is called Varavelpu. The groom and his people will be escorted to the mandap by young girls from the bride's side holding traditional brass lamps in a plate (thaalam), ashtamangalyam (eight auspicious articles) and platters of rice, turmeric and flowers, oil lamps made of coconut shells etc. This is called thala poli which is happens with the accompaniment of traditional music of Nadaswaram. He is then made to sit on a wooden plank on the right side of the canopy which is decorated with flowers. The bride is then escorted to the mandap in the same way. The bride and the groom thanks the audience and the bride is made to stand facing East, opposite to the groom. Dakshina to parents is given on both sides by the bride and the groom. In North Kerala, bride also takes blessing of the groom by touching his feet.
Thalikettu
At the auspicious moment, the family priest or an elder member performs the nuptial. The couple walks around agni thrice and the groom ties the thali which will be handed over to him by his father. Thalikettu happens with the beating of drums (ketti melam) and the ceremonial ululating sounds of women (vai kurava). This is the most significant one of Nair wedding tradition. This is followed by a garland exchange.
Pudava Koda
The groom hands over the pudava (clothes to change into) to the bride, on a platter with betel leaves and areca nuts. This is a significant promise to provide everything for her through out their marital life. The wedding rings are exchanged if it is not done before.
Kai Pidichu Kodukkal
The bride's father places her right hand on the right hand of the groom, symbolically transferring the responsibility of taking care of his daughter. This ritual is also known as 'kanyadaan! Then the newly-wed couple, takes three rounds around agni in clock wise direction, holding hands. The groom's mother or sister also ties the bride a chain symbolizing their acceptance. After this they are made to sit down. Elder relatives one by one come to the stage to bless them, and give them sweets (banana in sweet milk) which is known as 'mathuram kodukkal'and gifts.
Sadya
The joyous union is celebrated by a grand Kerala sadya which is a wholly vegetarian fare served in banana leaves.
Kudivepu
Once the guests are dispersed, the bride is bid farewell to the groom's house, accompanied by her close relatives. The ritual is called 'kudiveppu' or 'grihapravesha! The bride enters the new house with nilavilakku (lit brass lamp) in hand, drapped in the saree given by the groom and is received by the glow of aarti resting on a platter of rice mixed with turmeric. The couple enters with their right foot forward and with the bride kicking off the proverbial pot of rice heralding a sense of prosperity.
Adukkala Kanal
The bride's relatives who accompany her with sweets and savouries make it a custom to see the daughter's new house and environment. The groom's family may present the bride's family with clothes and sweets. A small feast will also be arranged.
Reception
Often there will be a reception at the groom's house soon after this, where their relatives, friends and neighbours come to celebrate their union. It can be at the house itself or in a nearby venue or hotel. The newly wed couples visit the bride's house on the fourth day accompanied by relatives and friends. A Nair wedding is drenched in tradition and with an inspirational simplicity, with no added frills. Each and every custom of the ceremony has a clarity and deep symbolism.
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